Home' Teacher : August 2010 Contents PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT 13
of Noah's Ark with room for 30 mil-
lion creatures -- times two. Ask mum
and dad to help you with the scissors.'
Or perhaps since, according to biol-
ogist and atheist Richard Dawkins,
the senator has an IQ 'lower than an
earthworm,' he'd be taking gardening
Wilson 'Ironbar' Tuckey would
be teaching metalwork. That's a no-
brainer -- in more ways than one.
The subject of personal development,
health and physical education would no
doubt be taught by Tony Abbott. Jog-
ging, bike-riding, su rfing and kayaking
are all Tony's turf. Perhaps he'd be on
shakier ground in sex education.
'And the girl gives the boy her pre-
'And what does the boy give the girl,
'Ah, um, an engagement ring.'
Teaching accountancy or agricul-
ture? Where would you put National
Party Senator Barnaby Joyce? In the
drama department is where you'd find
him. With his comic timing and mas-
tery of the language -- 'The guy's a psy-
cho chook!' '. . .it's a political fascinator
-- a bit of fishnet with a few feathers
stuck on it' -- he'd eat a Steven Berkoff
You wouldn't find Julie Bishop in
front of a class. She'd be in the front
office in charge of ID cards, bus passes
and fee collection making good use of
the patented 'death stare.'
Bronwyn Bishop? Matron, surely.
And the lollipop men out the front
of the school who are retired, but still
like to direct traffic? That's where you'd
find John Howard and Paul Keating.
It would be great to be a teacher at
Parliament House High. Not many
days actually in school, a yearly first-
class round-the-world airfare, a free car,
allowances for phones, stationery, meals
and office staff. And when you retire,
travel allowances of more than $100,000
a year in some cases. That's on top of
generous superannuation benefits.
Perhaps now that the Commonwealth
government is planning a My Uni and
My Hospital website, they might think
about a My MP website. I've got a feel-
ing many of them would be well and
truly in the red band. T
Wendy Harmer is one of Au stralia's
best known humourists and authors.
Richard Dawkin s's comments
about Senator Ste ve Fielding were
reported by ABC broadcaster Robyn
Williams at the 2010 Global Atheist
Convention in Melbour ne in March.
Links Archive July 2010 September 2010 Navigation Previous Page Next Page